The Real Reasons for the Kangaroos Disconcerting Numbering System
The provided reason for the Kangaroos numbering system is not knowing who will make up the final 17, opting to base it on the order they made their debut. That's just what they want you to think.
“A lot of teams might pick a 1-17, but we’re not in a position to do that because we’ve got 24 great players and I’m not too sure who will make up the final 17 when we hopefully go into the Grand Final of a World Cup”
It sounds believable enough.
Sure, the way it has turned out is hideous, and the thought of seeing Daly Cherry-Evans and Latrell Mitchell wearing numbers 2 and 8 respectively gives me shingles.
But, I suppose it’s better than Cleary returning for the important games and having to wear number 21 because DCE had already taken the 7. Now the best player in the game, in his first Test jumper, just has to wear a meaningless number the entire tournament.
Win!
Nevertheless, the media spew that the Aussie officials have churned up and spooned into our mouth is only part of the truth.
These are the real reasons the players were given these specific numbers.
1. James Tedesco
The Kangaroos Captain elected to tribute the average number of times he slips over per hit-up.
9. Josh Addo-Carr
The number of tries he will score against Scotland in the Kangaroos second match.
8. Latrell Mitchell
Due to his inability to stay in position at fullback, Rabbitohs Coach Jason Demetriou requested Latrell get used to playing with the 8 on his back.
4. Valentine Holmes
The seconds it will take me to whisper “fuck, look at his arms” drowsily to myself.
23. Murray Taulagi
Jordan, LeBron, Taulagi. It just makes sense.
7. Cameron Munster
The months Braith Anasta spent raising Cameron Munster’s value as the host of the biggest NRL show in the country before turning down $1.4m at the Dolphins to stay in Melbourne.
2. Daly Cherry-Evans
Nathan Cleary was originally wearing the #1 jersey before Tedesco demanded it, Mal decided to make it clear where DCE sat in the Kangaroos' halfback rankings.
18. Tino Fa’asuamaleaui
The number of Titans teammates that will disappoint him greatly next season.
3. Ben Hunt
Remember his runaway dagger in Game III of State of Origin? Hunt elected to shove his knife back into our hearts with his jersey number.
5. Jake Trbojevic
In his first interview upon returning to Brookvale, Jake plans to keep his description of the situation at Manly to no more than five “nices”. Scary stuff.
17. Angus Crichton
The number of zeroes Rugby Union will have to put on his contract for him to lure him away from League.
22. Jeremiah Nanai
Jeremiah chose to base his jersey number on the number of times he will almost make a spectacular play off an attacking kick, but just fall short.
11. Cameron Murray
The number of times Cameron leapt with joy when he realised Cody Walker wasn’t selected in the squad.
20 Harry Grant
Harry decided to reminisce on his 2020 Game III State of Origin Debut, in which the entire state of NSW began their deep-seated hatred of him.
16. Reuben Cotter
The years the dog in him has left to live.
13. Pat Carrigan
Years it will take to win the Brisbane Broncos ‘Best and Fairest’ award as long as Payne Haas is there.
10. Jack Wighton
The level at which he has to play to still not be selected by Brad Fittler.
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